Life is NOT Fair! Get Used to It!

When my oldest daughter was in second grade she brought home a questionnaire for me to fill out about her. There was the basic stuff: Name, birth date, likes, dislikes, strengths. (no space for weakness-bad for morale). And lastly was the question: 
What advice do you have for your child?


Well I took this to heart and my answer was: 
                           "Life is not fair so get used to it!"


I thought it was and still is good advice.  So time passes, the questionnaire is forgotten until the dreaded back to school night. And there they are for everyone to read! All the other parents (and I mean ALL) wrote nice sweet little tidbits about how little Johnny can and will do anything he wants. And how Susie is such an amazing human being she is sure to be the next queen of the world. And there was mine...yup just hang a sign around my neck that says "BAD PARENT"! 


My kids have never accused me of  giving them false hope which is why you don't see them making fools of themselves on American Idol or So You Think You Can Dance. I think they turned out okay.


PS....Little Johnny is in jail, and Susie is a prostitute. ;-)


This is what Bill Gates has to say on the issue..I think he is a pretty smart guy.

Bill Gates speech: 11 rules your kids did not and will not learn in school

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. 

Flying the (Un)Friendly Skies

I have heard quite a few comments from people who think that airlines should have a section for all children and their parents so that those without children don't have to put up with them.  I never paid too much attention to these complainers and just thought that they are just grouchy. After my last vacation, I have joined their ranks and am all for separation. 

I just got back from a trip to Kenya, my once in a lifetime trip, that I have been dreaming of since I was a little girl. We scrimped and saved and finally went on safari. The air fare alone was around $2200 USD a person for economy!

Our flights to Nairobi were nice and uneventful...even got some sleep. Returning was another story though.

Leg one: Nairobi to London.
Our seats were in a mid section of around 50
seats. In these seats there were 14 children under 6 years old. And a bunch more under 12, but they weren't usually the problem. (Unless they were fighting with each other) Now I am pretty patient with babies that cry because their ears hurt, and well....they are babies. This was pandemonium for 8 1/2  long hours. Kids were screaming non stop (not all crying, just screaming), climbing over seats, running around, standing on the trays, throwing food, kicking seats, and anything else they could think of. All this time, the parents sat idly and ignored them. Finally after about 4 hours) a teenage boy who was directly in front of one of the worst groups turned around and told them to shut up and quit kicking his seat back. The mother of the unruly actually got mad at him and told him not to tell her kids what to do! A flight attendant was called and she  had to discipline this woman's children. They were quiet for about 10 minutes.

Leg two: London to Newark.
A respite. We did sit next to a family, but they all slept. I complimented the parents on how well behaved their kids were.

Leg three: Newark to Minneapolis.
 Two rows in front of us were 2 little boys with their permissive parents. Replay Nairobi flight, except throw in a DVD player on at full blast because they didn't want to use headphones. After landing, the Daddy says, "Wasn't that a good flight?"

Leg four: Minneapolis to Salt Lake City.
Another replay...a large "Utah" family..5 kids under 8 years old, and I am assuming another on the way because the mother was vomiting the entire trip. More screeching, kicking, climbing, nonstop babbling (isn't that cute?) and for a new obnoxious twist give your kids empty water bottles and see how much noise they can make with them!

Once again...I do not blame the children...they don't know better..

What's the Matter with Kids Today?

The problem with children is that you have to put up with their parents. ~Charles DeLint

What is up with parents who take their children out in public and then have absolutely no control over them?

One case in point:

We went to the movies the other day to see that Disney documentary, "Big Cats". (It was ok in a "should have waited for the dvd" kind of way) Anyway, there was a couple with 2 small girls sitting down in front. They (the kids) started acting up during the previews, and kept at it through the entire movie.

They ran around the theater, climbed over seats, ran out screaming (and unfortunately returned). One of them started hitting a man on the aisle with a handful of straws. (Why would you even take a handful of straws and give them to your child? You get to have one with a drink that you buy...otherwise it is pretty much stealing...good example to set mom and dad of the unruly children) Mom would sporadically corral them up..which of coarse brought on more screeching, and Dad was completely oblivious and too busy eating his popcorn to even notice.

The theater wasn't full, but those of us who were there pretty much just sat in shock. I for one wanted to say something...but what? Should I have gone out to management and complained? It wasn't their fault. Should I have confronted the parents? I honestly don't think they would have gotten it. After all, they were allowing it to happen with total disregard and disrespect for anyone else. And I am almost positive that they would have been very indignant if someone criticized their lovely children. Which brings me to my point...it really wasn't the kids fault...they didn't know any better. The parents need to wake up and take some responsibility.

So, my question is this: How often do you confront people when they are doing something rude? I wimped out...THIS time.